Listening and Loyalty

On the first day of junior high, I met a new friend – one who became a forever friend – still is
today over six decades later. For some reason (and I think God was involved in the process),
our hearts connected. Reflecting on those days, I remember the laughter and sometimes
serious preteen conversations. Even today when we meet for lunch, we still laugh and
sometimes talk about serious things.
David and Jonathan no doubt talked about a lot of stuff too, but in 1 Samuel 20, their
conversation takes a serious turn. Unbeknownst to Jonathan, David has been on the run from
King Saul, who seems quite intent on killing him. David finds Jonathan and says to him:
“What have I done? What is my iniquity, and what is my sin before your father that he
seeks my life?” (1 Samuel 20:1) David is honestly wanting to know what he did to provoke
such wrath in King Saul.
Jonathan can’t fathom that his father would have anything against David -- and even says, “It is
not so” (1 Samuel 20:2).
David took an oath and told Jonathan, “But truly, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives,
there is but a step between me and death” (1 Samuel 20:3).
After hearing David out, Jonathan declares, “Whatever you yourself desire, I will do it for
you” (1 Samuel 20:4).
In this episode with David and Jonathan, two trademarks of a great friendship appear: listening
and loyalty.
First, Jonathan listened to David – even though he didn’t really like what David was saying –
perhaps biting his tongue – wanting to interrupt and say again that it wasn’t so. But he kept
listening until he realized David’s fear was not without merit.
Good friends need to be good listeners – listening in order to fully understand– listening in order
to perhaps ask some questions – listening in order to wisely respond.
Second, once Jonathan processed what David was saying and realized the seriousness of the
threat, he remembered his earlier covenant with David and demonstrated loyalty in his words
and actions.
Loyalty is a treasured attribute of great friendships. Loyalty should not come and go depending
on what or who is popular or famous or powerful. Loyalty should be a lifestyle. Loyalty is long-
term. Loyalty is being there for your friend through the ups and downs of life. Loyalty Is being
honest with each other – offering support, showing respect, and fulfilling promises.
Are you a listening friend? Are you a loyal friend? Ask God to help you listen to fully understand
and be loyal to those who have shared their hearts with you.
By Judy Shrout









